Twas the Night Before Tribes Ascend Got Mods
by superkuh

'Twas the night before christmas, when all through the networks, 
only spambots were stirring, silently doing their dark works. 
The users were idling and none came to stare, 
in hope that some day Tribes: Ascend mods would be there.

The players all nestled into their new games, 
while visions of pay to win danced in their brains. 
And most posts on tribalwar, and I on IRC, 
had hate still for hirez who's code we can't see.

When out on the pastebin there arose such a clatter, 
I sprang to the page to see what was the matter. 
Away to the links I flew in a flash, clicked madly on each, 
and downloaded the stash.

There lay the code of the Tribes game long ago, 
lines of complex text describing objects below. 
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, 
but a new mods API and and an address to send beer!

With the Tribes Ascend community so stale and sick,
I knew in a moment I must help this St. Nick. 
More rapid than LO, the compile messages came, 
and I whistled and shouted and called mods by name:

Now TAC! Now LT! 
Now, annihilation and shifter! 
On, RPGmods, HaVoC, and all of their scripture! 
On ModX and Starwars with lightsabers galore! 
To the top of Valve's lists! 
To the top and never to fall! 
Now mod away! Mod away! 
Mod away all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the millions the playerbase grew
with the help of fun mods and better maps too.

And then, in a banging, I heard on the door,
the pounding and pawing of a pig and lawyer.
As I stopped building laser turrets that clipped underground,
down came the door from the copyright cop's pound.

He was dressed tacticool, from his head to his foot,
and his reputation tarnished by overuse of his boot,
A taser and gun he had brought on his back,
and he screamed crazed at me, "He's gonna attack!"

His eyes, how they raged! His grimace, how scary!
His gun out had rose, and the pointing did vary.
Behind came an IP lawyer with lawsuits in tow,
he said it was Hirez property and the mods had to go!
The corpse of a game held tight in their fist,
like the heavy metal cuffs now circling my wrist.
He had an evil face and round fat belly,
that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

They spoke no more words and went straight to their work,
and took my computers then turned with a jerk.
And pushing me towards the door with a smack, directed me out to the cop car in back.

Hirez sprang to the web to declare they'd been wronged,
but no one still cared, the game had been dead without mods for so long.
I heard they sent take-downs as I was released late that night,
but once it's leaked on the 'net it's not a matter of might!